Smiles and dreams

Love

will we ever fully understand love? Both God and Christ are love. We will never be like them. So will we ever truly hold love in the palm of our hands? Will we fully exemplify it? If we fully understood them and their love we'd be too much like them. And that is not possible. We are not God.
Trying to understand and trying to love (the way they teach us to love). Well that draws us closer to them, they're pulling us closer. We're getting closer to love.
And that is a marvelous thought!

My most recent poem

The following is my newest poem. I wanted to create something that had truth about things that are happening in our society today. While I still believe God lets so many beautiful things take place, there is still so much sin in our society. My focus was the three following topics: abortion,children in poverty,and child abuse. Each line is a glimpse of the severity that fills so much of our world.....



we are cowards.
An unloving. self righteous. we need this. we need that society.
Unrealistic expectations of what should be. We should do better, but we don't society.

Women are bleeding babies!
just give that doctor his weapon.
Sharp scissors of mass destruction.
They should be used for paper, but they're used on flesh instead.
Just keep it in there.
Then shatter it and undo what you've done.
That seed will never peak out from the soil and feel the warmth of the sun.
That flower will never know what it is to love.
So let that what could have been bleed out.
This is what we want?
The unborn are piling up!
But it's okay because some man whore planted that seed in her!
He took someone that wasn't his and destroyed her.
Selfish Coward!
She didn't choose this!
He doesn't know it, but slowly his soul is being devoured.

And Children aren't Eating!
Fragile bodies!
they're sick and we should be more sickened, but we're not!
We layer them up in clothing and we can still see their rib cages.
Slowly they're decaying.
Soon their bodies will be ashes at our feet
And how does it feel to look down at that?
To know we could have done something to stop that?
people bury starving children
As we sit buried in our luxuries.
We dress ourselves up in fine clothes.
Adorned in sapphire.
Soon we'll be painting ourselves with gold.
We need to undress ourselves.
We think we're Gods, but we're not.
We use coins and paper on ourselves when we could have done something to fix that!

Fathers aren't loving their children!
And right now there's one giving himself to the bottle.
He's an incurable man.
A sick man, whiskey his only antidote.
Slowly he killed himself and left his son in desolation.
This poor man forgot how to love.
clenched fists were the creators of black eyes and broken arms.
This boy has tied up up his scars, he bundled them up, and he carries them on his back.
He's beaten down and he still looks flawless!
This boy is the perfect example of what it is to be unloved.
Perfect example of the messiah!
We should see more in him, but we don't.
Teachers and children wonder at his bruised up and broken arms.
They out two and two together.
The facts add up, but no one acts on then.
Words that should be used ate left unspoken!

Because we are cowards!
An unloving. self righteous. we need this. we need that society.
Unrealistic expectations of what should be. We should do better, but we don't society.

A blurb on grace

This morning, while I surveyed the beautiful desert that is my home and drank coffee from my snowman mug I found myself silently asking God questions like I always do. As I looked down at my blue Mexican sweater and the Ugg boots that kept my feet warm, I asked God the question that I was most eager to have answered. This was my question to God: "Why should I get to enjoy this while there are so many human beings living in poverty?" So many people struggling. His answer wasn't a direct answer to my question, but it came to me. Perhaps he sent it at the same time he sent the wind that made my ears feel a little cold. He said.
"I am with them Annie" The more I analyzed the situation, the more I realized that he was.God told Joshua that He would be with him wherever he was (Joshua 1:9).
And I know that God is with those that are living in poverty too.
God is with them, and so I know that they too must be enjoying some particle of God's grace.

a blurb

Those nights where you feel so amazing that you know that God must be right there touching your heart and breathing even more life into your filthy dirty soul

Untitled Poem

Like Peter pan
He's a lost boy
And he wonders at the state he's in
Reflections on the past are killing his conscience
All the places he's been
And even his sin
will tell the most glorious of stories
He's chosen wrong so many times
But never fails to pick himself up
And make it all right
He's created wounds along the way
Skin torn Blood pours
But we are all fleshly
And we all have scars
They build us up and make us
Who we are.

Just another Poem. No title yet....

Well she's a perfect image with her porcelain skin
But her face tells a story and she's wearing thin
A van-Halen T-shirt, ripped jeans, and a pair of old Puma shoes are the clothes that make up this homeless girls home.
And she looks all alone as she sits on the street corner
But she's been on the streets since she was fifteen cause it's safer than home.
She's just one of millions.
There are more of her all over the world
And why aren't we loving them more?
If I feel like I'm better than them I've created a sort of animosity
And it's toxic.
It could ruin my soul.
Because someone once said that feeding them was like feeding Him
And if we bow our knees at their feet it's like we're bowing to Him
and don't get me wrong we don't have to make them our Idol
But if we humble ourselves before them
it's like we've humbled ourselves to Him.

This song is exactly what I need in my life right now. For all my fellow friends who are going through various trials and battles let's remember that God is in control and that "we are safe in his arms".

The following are not my own words, but those of some pastors. Even though it is a simple message (perhaps even one we've heard before) it is true. It's a good reminder for anyone really.

(1 Cor 13:8 NKJV) Love never fails...

"There is actually more to this verse, but today we want to focus on one thing; LOVE.

Love is the ultimate expression God has given us to show others how much we care. It isn't meant to be mushy or overly emotional, but it does need to be genuine and sincere.

Love isn't what TV and Movies make it out to be. It has become twisted and perverted and not at all how God intended for it to be.

But love as God intended it to be is pure and without motives. It isn't used to gain something or get our own way. It isn't manipulative.

God loves us without condition or fail. His love is steadfast and constant. If there is one thing that we can depend on, no matter what happens, it's God's love. It will never change or go away.

So today, know that God's love never fails. He loves you no matter what you have done or what you have gone through. And know that God has given us His love so we can hand it out to others, with no strings attached and with no motives.

His love, whether directly from Him, or given to others through us, is truly life-changing."

The following is a poem I wrote about a dear friend of mine. She changed my life in more ways than one. I've slammed this poem a couple of times and have gotten positive feedback. Thanks everyone!

She’s my broken friend and yeah I knew she had problems. But I never really knew the extent of those problems until now. Not that she created them, those problems. But that people created them for her. When you’ve been hit by your dad and your mom calls you a liar. How could you even have hope or be inspired. But somehow in her magic she keeps pushing through. She’s keeps reaching and trying. She believes in the truth. Yeah, like I told you before I never really knew the extent of her pain. Until one night she opened up in shame. Her brother used her for sex. He forced something upon her that was so unwanted. So her brother rapes her for years and it was so against her will. Should she really be blamed for wanting to pop all those pills? Alcohol was a substance she’d often use for relief. For just a matter of time it would remove the grief. Despite all of this she still has hope. She prays to a God whose words she has inked in her skin. She believes in Him. Yes, sometimes she fails. But she always gives it her best. So as time goes on and as we keep growing close. I’ll keep this mental picture of her real close. That big silly grin and her loving heart. It clings to my soul; it’s what inspired this art. And at the end of the day maybe she prays? Thank you dear God for keeping me sane.

Thought of the day

Believe in Him. Believe in the love He gave you. You can change the world with that love.

My constant reminder

pray. It feeds your soul.

I think every time we pray to God we've fed our souls just a little bit more of the food they need to get by. Prayer is such an important aspect of my faith, yet I still struggle with going to God. Why is it that it is so easy to have a conversation with with someone, but, when I try to talk to God it becomes so difficult. I was talking with a good friend the other day and we talked about how often times we almost feel in a sense awkward coming to God. He is so much greater than us (palm 8 comes to mind). He knows everything that we are going through and what is going to happen. Why should he have to listen to our "silly" prayers? My conclusion and reminder to this question is that we must remember that God has asked us to come to him. Read 1 John 5:14-15, Philippians 4:6-7, James 5:16, Romans 8:26 and John 14:13-14. These are just a few places in scripture that we are instructed and encouraged to pray. Prayer is one of the simple tools that God gave to man so that we could better our relationship with him. Let's use this tool. Let's have a conversation with God (even in it's awkwardness) because God doesn't care. He wants to listen to our every word. The following are some of my favorite quotes about prayer..... “Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” ― Mother Teresa “Help" is a prayer that is always answered. It doesn't matter how you pray--with your head bowed in silence, or crying out in grief, or dancing. Churches are good for prayer, but so are garages and cars and mountains and showers and dance floors. Years ago I wrote an essay that began, "Some people think that God is in the details, but I have come to believe that God is in the bathroom.” ― Anne Lamott “If we pray, we will believe; If we believe, we will love; If we love, we will serve.” ― Mother Teresa “Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you. Amen.” ― Thomas Aquinas

Thoughts on loneliness

A few days ago I posted a blurb on Twitter about loneliness and how I feel this is a theme not just for our generation, but more specifically young adults. I just moved back to Arizona from Oklahoma where I had spend the last year attending college. While my experience up there is one that I will never forget I am glad to be home. Arizona will always have my heart. Let me tell you though, the transition from being on my own to moving back home (temporarily) has brought its challenges. I have had a hard time balancing friends and being home to spend time with my family. But when I'm home with my family they are busy with the duties and the personal things in their life that occupy their time. Often times, they're away when I'm at home. This is where that feeling of loneliness comes in. Don't get be wrong I'm not blaming my family, they are just going through the day to day routines that God has given them. Soon, I will be working, going to school, have homework, etc. I will have my own routine. I won't be sitting at the house alone anymore. Hey, maybe I'll even get a boyfriend! I'll be busy and my loneliness will go away. Yeah right! I feel like my generation thinks ( or maybe it's just me) that if we stay busy, with family, and with our friendships and our personal relationships and work and school and all this stuff we will be so busy that we won't even have time to be lonely. But that truly is not the case. I've talked to a few people my age recently and they too have struggled with feeling lonely. Some of them are college students who thought the business of college and being with their loved ones would take away that feeling of loneliness they often times experienced. However, when they moved to college this was not the case. Even with their busy schedules there are moments of loneliness.I think our loneliness comes from the lack of focusing our hearts and minds on something better than this world has to offer us. I'm a Christian. I believe In God and His son and the whole message of the gospel in the scriptures. So for me, my greater focus needs to be Christ. I need him to fill the gap ( not people and things). Don't get me wrong we need to be thankful for our present relationships and responsibilities. We should be happy for the friendships and relationships We've been given, but in our times of loneliness we must turn to something greater. And perhaps the more we keep our focus on something greater the less we will be lonely. "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish." Psalm 25: 16-17